I left off thinking I wouldn't have to do Estrogen any longer than 2 weeks. And the universe was like "HA HA HA ALYSON"- not today. My lining when we checked was 7.6, and it needs to be 8-9. In addition, my Estrogen levels were a tad low. So back on the ol' train PLUS add some new friends- Estrogen patches (2)! and check back in the following week.
Let me tell you. This is an obscene amount of Estrogen for one human. But they wanted it that way so I do what I am told. I also brought home the lovely, and anticipated, PIO (progesterone in oil) injections. I have not been looking forward to this one. I showed in a previous blog, the size of the damn thing. You also, have to do it every night.
The first time we did it, I really didn't feel it at all. It took a few tries for the anxiety to wear down. There were a few shots that did get a little painful. We managed to work-out a system where I would ice the area for a minute or two before, and insert quickly but push the PIO in slow. This seemed to be the best for me.
The days leading up to transfer day were so weird. I had it booked off at work and was just feeling a mix of things. The day before, I cried the whole drive to work. This is a lot of built up anticipation. I think this is where I started to let go of the relaxed attitude towards it and really feel inside, how much it meant to me. I have waited 3 years to know if this embryo would thaw, stick, and become a human being. I longed to see the positive test, and the little flicker on the ultrasound. I can't really say one cycle is harder than the other because they are both hard in their own way. This one was longer. And I knew for sure there is no cushion, as there is only one.
The day of transfer we dropped sloan off at daycare in a shirt for good luck under her button-down.
We arrived at the clinic and were checked in. They brought us back and had us get changed. So we know at this point we are transferring something today, but don't know the quality yet. Dr. Jackson pulls us aside and says our embryo is alive, fluffing back up from the thaw and is in excellent grade. To our surprise, a better grade than Sloan (but this one was a 5-day).
We got into the same room where our previous retrieval and transfer had happened. This time we were able to take pictures and videos. The whole transfer went painless and smoothly. One little perfect embryo was on board for us to take home, after 3 long years.
I was told to keep on the same levels of estrogen and keep on with the PIO shots at night. My Beta (blood work for pregnancy) was scheduled for two weeks from transfer. I'll put some of the photos we got below.
Just like last time, I will test on my own. The side effects are mostly from the progesterone, just like last time. I didn't get the implantation cramps like with Sloan, but I know every cycle is different. The hormones are making me feel like I am living outside of my body. This is not like last time. I have checked out from everything. I feel like I am barely myself, a partner, a mom or even an RMT. If I don't get a positive by the end of the week before my beta, which is the following Tuesday, I will ask to move it up or just stop the hormones. I can't bear to take them and inject them for a baby that isn't there. Being on hormones for over a month is a long time to not feel like yourself.
Before I leave, I have been testing, 4DP 5DT (4 days past, 5 day transfer) and 5DP 5DT and stark white, negative tests. I do not have any hope at this point at this cycle being successful. I will continue to test this week, but I meet with my DR at the end of the week. Fingers crossed for a late implant and a miracle.